So… microsoft has positioned itself between common users and Linux… and as an authority of sorts.

Is that suse-on-a-phone just a tease, or something awesome I have yet to discover?

You might be looking for the “ssh socks proxy” option (-D?).

Maybe run a bandwidth speed test, and enable/set qos to 95% of that value… I found that’s an easy way to kill the buffer bloat (way better latency).