Get a WAF. Sophos firewall is free if you want to diy. If not, use cloudflare.
Opening ports, logging, monitoring, nailing up allow listed IP addresses and dicking around with fail2ban is such a timesuck. None of that crap will stop something from exploiting a vulnerability.
Some things are worth farming out to a 3rd party. Plus, you can just point your DNS entry over and be mostly done. No more dynamic IP bs.
It takes a while to get settled.
You have traded a perception of convenience for security, privacy and freedom.
Many people bounce back and forth for a bit, dont feel bad if you get fatigued and go back for a few. However, once you start using Linux, you’ll start to see the truth about windows. You’ll be back, even if you leave for a few.
Be patient, you’ll learn the ropes and soon it will be second nature.
Also, your logs will tell you much. Uploading a log to an ai makes troubleshooting much easier.
It isn’t a magic solution, no, but you have a lot more control than crummy layer 3 firewall rules and endless lists.
The big players have far more data about what bad looks like. Either we can play whack a mole with outdated tools and techniques or get smart and learn to use what is available.
Self hosting doesn’t mean we go backward in terms of the sophistication and difficulty, it means embracing modern solutions.
In the dinosaur days, we had primitive tools, but so did the attackers. We cannot hope to self host with any measure of security if we bring piss to a shitfight.