This is why I felt uncomfortable when I first switched to Linux and kept reading that I didn’t need to worry about viruses as long as I didn’t click on dodgy links and only installed from trusted sources. I’m sure I’m betraying my lack of security knowledge here, but that always seemed a bit too easy.

I’m also considering just getting a portable, 128GB FLAC player with a minijack connection and moving on with my life without getting involved in networking at all.

Yeah, I’d say that this is definitely the way to go. My .mp3 player only has something like 8 gigs of storage, but it takes a MicroSD card. With a 1 tb card, I can carry all the music I want (and realistically, given that your collection is pretty small, you could get away with a whole lot less than that).